What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
