Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize