there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
