please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
