Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
