that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
