So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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