whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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