i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
