The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
false alarm. still invincible.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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