I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
