Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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