at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
