i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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