If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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