STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
