Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
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