the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
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