once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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