i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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