Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Your dad touched me again.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
