I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
