She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
