Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize