My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize
