I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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