Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
