did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
