i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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