I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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