Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize