You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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