Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Randomize