I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize