And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
