I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
