I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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