I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Ladies don't puke and tell
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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