yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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