Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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