my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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