Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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