I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
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