just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Randomize
