When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
