What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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