I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
please don't ironically join a cult
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