I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize