Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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