Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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