Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
3pm strippers are depressing
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
