youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
i think i just lost a toe
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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