I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
