Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
