okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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