It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize