How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Sober January is a disaster.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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