I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
