Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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