So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
