I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize