Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
