I can tuck mytits in my pants
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
