I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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